A broken’s approach to enfatuation

It’s funny how 2 megas can make my heart skip a beat. I have just received a picture of us, probably the only electronic evidence that places us together in the same space and the fucking knot that has formed in my throat is about the same size as the embarrassment and ridiculousness I feel for having such strong feelings for you still; or better, for ever having felt things for you. I hate it. I hate how I will never understand you. Or rather, I hate how I lost the chance to. I also hate that I have 49% of passion and 51% of pride so I will never bring this up to you. Often, when I ride my bike in the cold, I rehearse in my head the things I’d tell you, stupid things, like cliché things of “I think I liked you all along” or “I am sorry it might looked like I objectified you but I didn’t know better”, certainly rather puzzling, uncommon things for a girl to say to a player.

So let 2014 be another year. Be the year I make less bad judgements and fall in love with the right people for once, and hopefully, fall out of love with you.


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